sublime joy

I went from super anxious to fabulously blase'. But also, numb could be a good definition. I think there's some hormone that operates that (some? talk about the works, loads of them all over your body, 24/7 hormones, filling in the blanks for you everytime you get your mind off of something, literally, there's no free time anymore...)

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I swear I am and I would prove it right now if I only knew how to. (Don't expect me to begin knitting).

So right now, the next phase is depression, I suppose, so, basically crying. When you shower, when you eat, when you don't eat, when you crave and can't find the thing you're craving, when you wake up and for some reason everything's uncertain, none can give you clear answers, you'd figure, since it's always been the same thing from the beginning of time, and now with our so-called modern science you'd think, I did, that they would give you a document with bullet points of things you can't and can do, things you will feel, things that are going to happen. But no. It's here, on blogs like this, that you have to go fishing for, mind you, no science talk, but some girlfriend's guide to the deed. And it helped.

But, hey, girlfriend, one thing you should know is that the beginning is really hard. Nobody says that. Because you feel so lonely. And you are. Wait, no, you are not. And you will never be alone again. Because now you are with child. And when it finally kicks in, I bet it's all the joy sublime.

So wait, I'll keep you posted. Sincerely.