inside out

Why is it that when you finally get something you always wanted it feels so ... messed up. Weird. In a way, even wrong... I feel like my body is doing everything by itself. It's all involuntary right now. You burp, you fart, you wake up at night and your eyelids shut during the day when you are supposed to be working. The body is totaly taking over. And the thing I like the most which is eating, is the hardest to do right now. It's all comando.

I remember a ride on a theme park when I was maybe 10 years old, it was like a visit of a woman's body... I know it sounds like anything but a ride, but I swear that's what it was. So you start the visit up her legs, I think, and then you could see the human body from the inside. Funny enough, that's how I feel, like as if there were creatures visiting my insides, and the problem is they can see me and I can't see them. Or control anything.