Thursday, June 23, 2011

Supercordas, um argentino e 2 sacolas de supermercado.

Se tem uma coisa na qual eu acredito é a teoria das supercordas. Eu tô lá, anos atrás me vendo sozinha na Barnes&Noble comprando livros que eu nem tinha muita vontade de ler e que ainda custaram caro pra depois mandar de volta pro Brasil em caixas com o resto dos meus badulaques que ficou perdido em algum canto entre a casa do meu pai e do meu irmão. Eu tô lá nesse exato momento, experimentando um rímel novo no Walgreens, passando no drive-thru do KFC, dirigindo meu Neon vermelho e podrão comprado de um argentino que mentiu nos documentos o ano de fabricação do carro. Tô lá, saindo do supermercado com nada de realmente saudável nas sacolas, tipo pasta de amendoim, ginger ale diet, uns cereais matinais com pedacinhos de marshmellow, uma coisa deliciosa que chamava Triscuit e muito cream cheese. Tô ali minding my own business, quando me vejo aqui, anos depois, mas no mesmo instante, saindo do supermercado, com 2 sacolas cheias de leite e fraldas e biscoitinhos e nutella e umas coisas saudáveis e sprite diet. Eu olho pra mim do outro lado da corda do meu tempo passando: o que é a realidade? Eu sou um fantasma agora, vindo lá do passado mas ao mesmo tempo já tinha assombrado a mim mesma, vindo do futuro, com sacolas num braço e filhos no outro e cabelo desgrenhado e os quilos a mais (inevitáveis?).
Às vezes juro que tenho medo de acordar do lado de lá como num filme em que o personagem central tem a chance de ver como seria a vida dele se tivesse mudado alguns detalhes aqui e ali. Mas de repente percebo que eu estou aqui e ali, simultaneamente do lado de cá e de lá. O problema é que tem vezes que não me reconheço e me deixo passar despercebida nesse choque de realidades paralelas. Eu não me vejo, eu vejo outra que não sei mais quem era ou então nunca mais saberei. Quem será que sou eu?

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