bloggy-boring

Why would I come back here? After all this time, all the silence, which in essence means nothing new or worth saying... no actually, here for me is the parallel universe where I contribute my share of nothingness, of unreality, of crazyness... there was a time when I had both time and much more of nothing to write about here. Now, in the last few years real things have been happening making my contributions fewer and less bloggy-funny or bloggy-rebel or bloggy-diary.

Let's face it, this is not about real life at all. It's about what we want others to capture from us.

But this is my black board, my empty white page... and what I got today is plain real life, pretty real stuff, that's actually not pretty at all. You know, sometimes you can't be all bloggy-witty with facts of life. You can't open it all out for discussion and hope to get consolation from the comments.

No you can't. And neither can the second life overtake your first one. And so you are forced to land from your virtual trip into this earth here where there's plenty of bad things and past to be faced up with. Past that cannot be changed. Past that echoes into the rest of your life forever. Unlike the page or black board, cannot be erased either.

Live with it. You gotta do what you gotta do. But sometimes living is not that easy. Living, moving on, getting over, getting a grip... but where to begin from? Hard to make sense in such a mess. Hard to pick yourself up and dust off and move on.

And to all of you who could be in this moment actually reading this (oh god I doubt it very much...) I am perfectly aware that this post sucks. Stinks bad. I know. It's intentional. Because life sucks even worse right now.

I am not a teenager in anger because my old folks took away my playstation, I am fucking 32. Besides being old and boring I am also very sad right now.

Hey but if you got this far on this post, keep reading. My blogging past was so much fun. And maybe even come back in few months. If I manage to get a good pill, I'll let you all know.